"Hijo de Puta!"

You may have heard about South American soccer matches -- about the fans trying to jump on the field, about crazy individuals trying to throw flaming torches at players and referees, and about the general pandemonium that supposedly makes up each and every soccer match in many Latin American countries. I had heard about all this as well, yet nothing prepared me for the actual experience of witnessing a World Cup qualifier soccer match between Argentina and Colombia.

Nothing prepared me for the experience because, whereas I had imagined that I would witness some of the best soccer of my life and some of the most intense and downright wild fans in the world, what I got was exactly what a typical American might expect out of a soccer game: boredom. There were, of course, many differences between an Argentine sporting event and a US sporting event, but I sat through much of the game utterly bored out of my mind. It didn't help that there was no scoreboard in use to show the score of the game or even how much time was left--some crucial knowledge that could have kept me at least mildly interested enough to know how much longer it would be until I could get home to by delicious meal (which would be sure to have at least one or two different types of red meat) which I knew would be awaiting me.

Still, there were some rather crazy occurrences that took place at the game. When we first entered the stadium, we scoured around for our seats and finally found them. Only to find out that they were filled. We were about to ask the people to move when someone else in the stands told us to just take whatever seats we could find. Apparently, the meaning of assigned seating is different in Argentina then in the US, and as a result, our group had to be split up into multiple factions. Also, the word "seat" is a misnomer--it's really simply standing room that they sell because the only time you actually use the simple little bench, which is pressing up behind you on the back of your legs so tantalizingly, is at the half. I have posted a video here below to demonstrate what the atmosphere was like after Argentina scored the only goal of the game, but besides the excitement after the goal, there were the cheers.

"Hijo de puta" (son of a bitch) or simply "puto" (bitch) were clearly the most popular cheers among fans of both Argentina and Colombia. It's easy to understand that phrase's usefulness when you think about it. For example, here are a few situations in which it can be utilized:

• To refer to a visiting team's player who injured the home team's player
• To refer to a home team's player who was injured because he was too wussy to fight off the attack
• To refer to a visiting team's player for making a shot on goal
• To refer to a home team's player for failing to block a shot on goal
• To refer to a visiting team's fan who insists on calling you "puto"
  
• To refer to a home team's fan sitting right next to you who insists on calling everybody else "puto" in a voice so loud that you'll be lucky just to be ABLE to hear the final whistle
  
• To refer to the referee
  
• To refer to the referee's mom
  

Please note: these are only a few of the almost INFINITE amount of possible uses of the phrase.

It should also be noted that the Colombia fans were FAR more intense than the Argentina fans, and we happened to be sitting in the section in front of them. The picture at left shows one of the MANY fireworks that Colombian fans ignited throughout the game. When the game ended, with Argentina coming out on top by a "thrilling" score of 1-0, there was almost no applause or excitement among Argentina fans. In contrast, Colombia fans started shouting and cheering, and I literally had to ask myself if I might have missed a Colombian goal or two and if I was wrong about who the victors were in the game. But I was correct. The Colombian fans just had over-inflated pride in their team that had failed to score even a single goal. When we exited the stadium, we had to go out a gate under the Colombia section. As I approached the gate, I became a little worried when I saw Colombia fans dumping their drinks on Argentina fans and fans from both sides throwing garbage at each other. Still, I made it out okay and lived to tell the tale!

During the game, however, from our 10th row seats (which we purchased for approximately $22), we could see the barbed wire fence which extend the entire way around the stand and which suggested that not all games are as "tranquilo" as the one that we attended. After returning from the game and talking to a number of Argentinians, I found out that the game was almost universally considered to be a bore. I breathed a sigh of relief to know that I was not too Americanized (aka "uncultured" and "imperialistic" in my sports taste) to be unable to appreciate the most popular sport worldwide. Even though Argentina won, they did not demonstrate very much talent and one of their best players, Messi, did not play very well. (With the bad luck that I have been having this summer, I wouldn't be surprised if the fact that I wore Messi's jersey to the game wasn't what CAUSED him to have an off-day.) If you've been reading my blog, then you know what I'm talking about... In any case, domestic games between various cities within Argentina or even within different parts of Buenos Aires (like the Boca vs. River game each year) are supposedly more intense because of the mixed allegiances of the fans. After all, when nearly everybody supports the same team, what is there to get thrown in jail or to end a marriage over?

Still, I am glad I got a chance to see an international soccer game for the first time in my life. Even though it wasn't quite what I was expecting it to be, I still had a great time with some of my good friends there and learned a little about soccer in the process. As a big sports fan, I firmly believe that athletics are a major part of a people's culture and that there is much to learn from attending sporting events. Argentine soccer games are definitely different than US sports games. It seems to me that Argentinians view sporting events as a way to take out their stress and anger. According to my Spanish instructor, they use the games to swear and to complain and to argue because it's not always socially acceptable to do this in everyday life. I believe there's some truth to this. We all have some pent up anger inside of us, and we each have our own way of diffusing that anger and unwinding. Why not do it at a soccer game, with your fellow countrymen? There's something unifying about the experience, as is reflected in the sign in the picture below, which says, "Somos Argentina" or "We are Argentina."

So the game wasn't quite what I was expecting it to be. But I must say that, even if I didn't get to see a referee torched or a crazed streaker, I did learn how to say "son of a bitch" in Spanish!